Buckle up, everyone — Egyptian authorities finally opened up the mysterious black sarcophagus on Thursday that was unearthed at the beginning of July. Sadly, they only found three soggy mummies.
The 2,000-year-old sarcophagus was found during a construction dig in Alexandria, Egypt. According to a statement from the Egyptian Ministry of Antiquities, it may be the largest sarcophagus ever discovered in Alexandria, clocking in at 9-feet long, 5-feet wide, and 6-feet deep. Judging from the layer of mortar between the lid and the body of the sarcophagus, the tomb hadn’t been touched since it was closed.
Archeologists also discovered a huge alabaster head in the tomb.
Massive black sarcophagus? Mysterious white statue? Does anyone think this sounds like an ancient curse WAITING to be unleashed upon us mere mortals?
Twitter users were almost excited at the idea of a mummified being bringing destruction to the world, because really, how much worse could it get?
2012: oh no Mayan calendar says the world might end and we could all die
2018: PLEASE let the black Egyptian sarcophagus carry a curse that will collectively put us out of our misery
— zoinks, scoob (@dadvansss) July 18, 2018
*evil spirit emerges*
MWAHAHAHA FINALLY.. AFTER CENTURIES AT REST, I, SUTEKH, HAVE RETURNED TO UNLEASH CHAOS UNLIKE ANYTHING YOU’VE EVER SE…
…did…did another unholy force beat me here?
YOU guys did this? Wow.. well.. nice job I guess?
— John Karalis 🇬🇷 (@RedsArmy_John) July 17, 2018
┃┃╱╲ in this
💀 o҉p҉e҉n҉ ҉t҉h҉e҉ ҉ 💀
— ceeks (@70Ceeks) July 18, 2018
I’m pinning all my hopes on the creature in the sarcophagus.
— Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnson) July 18, 2018
Opening that 2000 year old sarcophagus they found in Egypt could be the death of us all. Of course they should fucken do it.
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) July 18, 2018
Instead of an apocalyptic event, authorities found three decomposed mummies fermenting in what appeared to be sewage water. Secretary-General of the Supreme Council of Antiquities, Mostafa Waziri, dismissed claims of dooming the world by releasing whatever spirit was trapped in the tomb: “The sarcophagus has been opened, but we have not been hit by a curse.”
The three mummies, all buried together, were not Ptolemaic or Roman royals. The sarcophagus didn’t bear any inscriptions of names, and they weren’t buried with valuables like gold masks or amulets that royals would typically have.
Since one of the skulls shows multiple fractures from a sharp weapon, one of bodies belonged to a warrior, according to Egypt Today.
Alexandria Governor Mohamed Sultan said the sarcophagus will be moved to the Military Museum, and the three mummies will find a new home at the Alexandria National Museum.
But if a swarm of locusts takes over the planet, or if the sun is suddenly eaten by a wandering, vengeful demon, let’s all agree that we probably shouldn’t have opened the sarcophagus.